Was it illusion ?

I still remember the first time
You were sitting alone .. Putting your headphones
Your head was down .. Your eyes Were closed
Then you turned your head up and i saw your face
it was red like a strawberry juice
That i don’t like .. But i liked staring at yours
There was noise .. But all i felt was silence
Like i was drawning in your world that’s full of melodies
within seconds he was surrounded by alot of people
I told myself he is so popular he is not gonna notice me , are you ?
Days passed .. and weeks after and i’m still waiting for a thing i believed it will never happen .
Then at a random day i get call from someone telling me they chose a song that i wrote and they wanted me to watch them rehearsing it
*There is band at my school and they wanted new ideas for their songs .. I love writting so i send them one of mine *
I got there then i saw .. it was him yeah it’s him
is he new to the band ? He’s playing the guitar ?
They were playing my song but i didn’t hear a word
I was just watching him playing the guitar
after they finished he came to me and said : “Your song is beautiful .. And you are too … Like the first day i saw you ”
I wanted to say million words but what all said was “You’ve seen me before”
“Yeah … I saw you the first day of school ”
I couldn’t speak i just ran away with a smile
The day came and as time get close i get more nervous i can’t to see him playing again
But everything was different .. everything changed
Like it’s new place i haven’t been before
And i searched for him in every single corner
But i didn’t find him
Was i dreaming .. I thought it was you
Or it just your shadows that kept following me wherever i go
And then i was trapped by flashbacks of your empty smiles and things you never said to me
Was everything an illusion .. I lived in an illusion
I thought this time it was real
But i can’t face the fact that i never left my room and i was just writing about you … Again